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Archive for March, 2016

How to lower the future UK state pension bill… #pension #saver #HMRC


Some simple steps to lower this bill could be taken by government soon.

 

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  1. Increase the state pension age to 75 years. This will result in the 55 and overs worrying so much about the fact that they have to work into their seventies, that their blood pressure readings will increase, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.
  2. When prospective pensioners get to nearly 75 years old, increase the state pension age to 85 years. This will result in the 65 and overs worrying so much about the fact that they have to work into their eighties, that their blood pressure readings will increase, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.
  3. Keep encouraging the Inland revenue to play music and keep you on hold when you try to ring them. This will result in all ages having increased blood pressure, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.
  4. Keep encouraging companies and government agencies to use the “press 1 to speak to…” technique. This will result in all ages having increased blood pressure, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.
  5. Keep encouraging companies and government agencies to send out surveys by SMS text. This will result in all ages having increased blood pressure, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.
  6. Keep interest rates at zero or negative. This will cause prudent savers to lose all hope of funding their future pensions. This will result in all ages having increased blood pressure, hence resulting in early death and consequently a lower burden for future government.

These are just 6 simple steps which should keep the pension bill under control. Fortunately all of them are currently in practice so things should be looking rosy for government in the future.

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